What you Lose when you Gain a Spouse | Research Conducted

Getting married is full of fun and excitement. The preparations, fancy clothes, gatherings, and all festivities make us forget about our daily routine. We get so indulged that we often forget to prepare ourselves mentally for the next phase of our lives. Unfortunately, our society and elders are not open about marriage talks and still prefer to keep things under the blanket. However, it should not be the case, as sex education is just as important as any other knowledge. It should not be frowned upon or whispered. People need to understand that this knowledge is not shameful, and they should educate their children timely.

Our society has made a fantasy bubble for the younger generation regarding marriages. They say that getting married is the only challenging part and the rest is all fun and games. But that is not true. Your real challenge comes after you get married and start to share your life with your spouse.

Things You should be Focusing On

You lose many things from your daily routine when you gain a spouse. This goes for both partners, not just the wife. Yes, the wife has to settle in a new place among new people, but it is actually the husband’s responsibility to make space for his wife in his family.
Our society does not tell the newly married couple these responsibilities on time, and they figure it out later in worse ways.
Thus, it is important that you prepare yourself mentally and physically for a marriage.
Here are some main things that change drastically after getting married:

1- Health

Your body will change once you get sexually active. You need to be more vigilant to your changing body and see a doctor if something unusual happens. Women tend to get recurring UTIs after getting married. Because of little to no knowledge, they panic instead of going to the doctor. Therefore, you should be more careful about your health after you get married. Both partners should know the common health issues and look after each other if they happen.

2- Money Management

You need to manage your expenses wisely with your spouse. You are not a carefree teenager anymore. You have many responsibilities and need to be financially secured. The best way is to divide your monthly income into different sectors. For instance, make a rule to save 10% to 20% of your income, then divide others for bills, groceries, and other related things.
Moreover, be open to the possibility of both spouses working. The husband should ask the wife if she is willing to work when needed. The wife should be open and flexible to such decisions. However, spouses often fight when either one of them is forcing such decisions. The key is to find better resources together rather than fighting over them.

3- Other Relationships

All your other relationships will get affected after you get married. You would find less time for your friends and distant family. After marriage, the main focus of the spouses is each other. They should be more careful about each other needs and requirements. This can give you less time for others, and that is totally fine. Our society needs to accept this change rather than taunting the newlyweds on it. You should mentally accept the fact that you will be mentally and physically indulged with your spouse and that there is nothing wrong with it. Finding a balance is the key here.

4- Commitment

Before you get married, your sense of commitment can vary with people and friendships. However, you should have a great sense of responsibility and dedication to make your marriage peaceful with your spouse. Your spouse should be your top priority in everything. Marriage is a big responsibility for both partners, and they should prepare themselves for it.

5- People See you Differently

People will see you as more mature after you get married. It comes with the added responsibilities in your life. You should take it as a compliment and embrace the new phase of your life. It is part of growing up.

6- Relationship with Spouse

With time, you can take your spouse for granted as things smooth out. However, it should not be the case. Particularly women get emotional when they feel left out. Both partners should make an effort to keep the spark alive. You should care, love, and give proper attention to your partner to make your relationship stronger.

7- Goals and Dreams

Your goals and dreams align with your spouse after you get married. Your spouse is your responsibility, so you can not leave them in between to chase your goals. You learn to make them a part of your journey. Therefore, if you have some goals that you know you can not achieve with your spouse, then you should wait and complete them before you get married. This way, your spouse would not have to suffer, and you can enjoy a peaceful time with them.

Our elders often force their kids into marriages without realizing that this factor could affect their married life. Therefore, you need to take things into your hands and marry only when you peacefully can.

If you need couple counseling or professional help and book your appointment with the best sexologist in Karachi through Marham.

Nicki Jenns

Learn More →